Special.Girl
06-05-2015, 08:24 PM
This is a very personal problem that is going to have a very personal answer, and likely one or more of the previously discussed problems are contributing factors. That said, happiness doesn't have to be something difficult to achieve. You will be happy most days if you take care of yourself physically (e.g. regular physical activity, a healthy diet, enough sleep, etc.) and you do things that make you happy. The problem often is actually knowing what will make you happy, since humans are terrible at predicting the future and it can be hard to simplify most decisions. Here are a couple of ways to figure it out and put together a plan you can stick to.
First, here's what I did. I'm a generally happy person, but I wasn't for about a decade. I made a lot of decisions that I thought would make me happy, figured out most of them made me more unhappy, and then decided to come up with a new plan. I used to have a friend who treated me poorly, and the first step of that plan was putting an end to that friendship. I realized we had a lot of similar behaviors, and those behaviors were making me unhappy, so I adopted a policy of doing the opposite of everything I thought she would do. My life has been a straight upshot ever since. To simplify things further, I make nearly all my decisions based on the answers to two questions. First, I ask if saying yes to this choice will make me happy. Second, I ask if I think saying yes is the right thing to do. If both questions are yes, I do it. If not, I don't. Sometimes I'm afraid of what I might be missing when I say no, but that fear diminishes every day because too many good things happen.
First, here's what I did. I'm a generally happy person, but I wasn't for about a decade. I made a lot of decisions that I thought would make me happy, figured out most of them made me more unhappy, and then decided to come up with a new plan. I used to have a friend who treated me poorly, and the first step of that plan was putting an end to that friendship. I realized we had a lot of similar behaviors, and those behaviors were making me unhappy, so I adopted a policy of doing the opposite of everything I thought she would do. My life has been a straight upshot ever since. To simplify things further, I make nearly all my decisions based on the answers to two questions. First, I ask if saying yes to this choice will make me happy. Second, I ask if I think saying yes is the right thing to do. If both questions are yes, I do it. If not, I don't. Sometimes I'm afraid of what I might be missing when I say no, but that fear diminishes every day because too many good things happen.